Random thoughts

Listening to cool music online has been a good coping mechanism for me here. Some of my regulars have included Sufjan Stevens, Underoath, Becoming The Archetype, Zao, David Clifton, The Burn Band (featuring Vineyard UK's Sam Lane, one of my musical heroes) and Mary Alessi. Some of you may be scratching your heads and wondering how this Marc Hogi guy can mention folk, metal, emo, modern worship and gospel artists in the same sentence. You'll get used to it.

Currently I'm listening to "Breathing New Life" off of Todd Benjamin's MySpace page. A very simple song musically, but man has it gotten hold of me. Benjamin sounds something like a baritone version of Jason Upton. I can't stop listening to it. Unfortunately, "Breathing New Life" is the only song there and the page doesn't offer much information about him or his ministry. I hope this guy releases a CD soon.

Not all things in Korea represent a culture shock for me. The most obvious is city life itself. I am a city kid, so walking and taking public transportation are very normal to me. This is not so with some Americans who come from areas where everyone owns cars. Having spent two years in upstate New York and four in Alabama while in college, I certainly understand the necessity of a vehicle in an extra-urban context. However, when I hear the occasional expat complaint about having to walk everywhere or take the subway, inwardly I'm rolling my eyes and saying: "Puh-leeze."

Even the housing manager at my school apologized for my apartment being a 15-minute walk from the school. As if I'm supposed to have a problem with that. Although the humidity here makes things relatively miserable, I appreciate the sights and sounds of my walk to school. I also appreciate the exercise, as I have to climb a steep hill both ways. I particularly appreciate this after dragging myself out of bed at 5:30 a.m. to get ready for work. Maybe it will bother me more when winter rolls around.

The learning curve at work has caused me a great deal of stress. I take comfort in knowing that thousands of other teachers have walked this road before me. There's also a distinct possibility that I'm overreacting again. When I share some of my problems with the other teachers here, it doesn't seem to be a big deal to them.

I can't believe my August 12 birthday came and went so fast. How is it August 18 already? Anyhow, birthdays tend to inspire reflection and introspection, two things I'm very good at. However, I've found myself in the middle of another emotional crisis. I experience an emotional crisis every two to three weeks, but it's not usually as intense as has right now. I'd like to share all of the details with you right now, but I won't be able to do so without babbling incoherently. I suppose I can say that being almost halfway through my thirties, I often struggle with the feeling that my life is passing me by. The sense of responsibility for my life has become overwhelming. Yesterday I went by the church to meet with Pastor Bill for what I thought would be a hourlong conversation. Our talk very quickly became three hours, and I'm still reeling from much of our exchange. Even though he doesn't know me that well, he was still able to speak some very relevant concepts into my life with regard to many areas, among them spirituality, accomplishments, goals, shortcomings and career. It was an enlightening experience. It was also very painful.

I don't speak of "taking responsibility" in the sense of not depending on God, but more in the sense of fulfilling my God-given responsibilities instead of making excuses and waiting for someone else to do it for me. One of my responsbilities is learning total dependence. What has happened since I've been here is that my habits and worldview have not changed much. There are positives and negatives to this, and those of you who know me will know what I'm talking about. I wasn't under some delusion that flying over here was going to change who I was, but sometimes I sit back and think: "My goodness, am I this unchanged?"

I've had a couple of opportunities to eat with some of my students outside of class. Tomorrow I will be joining one of my students to go to the library. He will be studying all day. I don't plan to be there all day, but I will be studying as well. And getting caught up on grading papers.

I've had a revelation with the Korean language. If I study regularly, after a while some of this stuff actually begins to make sense.

I've gotten a lot of cool e-mailed comments from friends and family since I've arrived here. I may copy and paste some of them here sometime. I don't always have time to respond, but I do read everything. Keep them coming.