Turnover

A challenge I've faced for most of my life is cherishing my relationships but at the same time holding them lightly enough that so it isn't so traumatic if they change; for example, a friend may move away and so we can't communicate as easily. In some cases, the person may just disappear or just become unreachable for no reason, which has happened to me a few times.

As a teacher of English as a foreign language to adults in Korea, particularly young adults, I've had several opportunities to meet and get to know people. As a foreigner who sometimes lives in a state of perpetual culture shock, this is a good thing. However, many of those people are university students, which results in a lot of turnover. Some of those people are already working and they stay put, but others graduate and move away for work or study abroad. I've experienced this at home in the U.S. as well as Korea, although it's probably a little more common here. Most of the time I'm OK with this, although in a few cases the separation is difficult. Last Friday I said goodbye to my good friend Son Wan-Ryeol. Wan-Ryeol, who just graduated from Hongik University, is off to the Philippines for a few months to work on his English. After that he will study in Europe. As far as I know, that will be an indefinite venture. Wan-Ryeol was one of my students in February 2007 at my previous job. That month I had an unusual schedule in which I only had two classes in the morning and all of the others were in the evening. After my second class I began going to a cafe for breakfast and I would invite students to come with me. Wan-Ryeol, who was in my second class, joined me and we began eating almost every morning that month. Sometimes a couple of other students would join us as well. Most of the time we went to A Twosome Place in Shinchon Rotary and we usually spent a couple of hours there. Most of the time the guys tutored me in Korean and taught me some key expressions.
After that month, Wan-Ryeol and I remained friends and met several times in the Hongdae area where he lived (and only a 15-minute walk from where I lived). We often went to cafes and did language exchange. Later I discovered he liked jogging and so we began to run regularly at the Han River. After I left Shinchon, we continued to meet for dinner, Korean study and sometimes jogging. I often return to Hongdae to work or study in a cafe, and I would often call him up and say "Hey, let's hang out." Over the last year, he's become one of the closer Korean friends I've had.When he informed me a month ago that he was leaving, I decided to try to meet him a few more times to go jogging. So we got together for the last three or four Fridays (cancelling once because of rain). Actually I didn't realize that he was leaving the first Sunday of May; I thought he was leaving in the middle of May. So two Fridays ago we jogged along our usual route to Mangwon, stretched for 15 minutes or so and returned. We met a little earlier than usual, around 5:30, and it was unusually beautiful spring evening. Afterward we ate dinner at a Korean fried chicken place we often went after running. I didn't realize until the end of the evening that in two days he was moving back to his hometown down south. It was probably good that I didn't know this until the last minute, otherwise I think our time could have been melancholy and emotional for me. Of course, I was melancholy and emotional afterward. I almost cried on the way to the subway.

Monday I met Ho-Jun and another friend in the Hongdae area. We went to Sangsabyeon Cafe, which is almost around the corner from Wan-Ryeol's old place and where we often hung out. It felt a little strange to walk around the area and realize he wasn't there anymore. We plan to stay in touch through e-mail, but it's not the same as having him here.I know other people to whom I'm going to have to say goodbye at some point because they're going to move away or I'm going to move away. Some of the people I've befriended at the university are going to graduate and move on. Several people have asked me how long I'm planning to stay here and I really have no idea. If I married a Korean, that might provide me more incentive to stay. If the university offered to renew my contract next year, that would definitely provide me some incentive to stay another two years or so. But it's also possible that I may just get tired of everything and decide I want to go home. Actually turnover has been the theme of my life. My living and work situations have changed constantly ever since I graduated college. A few of those situations I chose to walk away from, however in most cases I was pushed out. All of this causes me to wonder if my long-term life purpose is to be a missionary.