Bikram. Days 10-16.

Day 10.
I arrived a little later than usual and ended up taking a spot away from the center. Right after the start of class, I looked up to discover I was directly beneath the low-hanging light fixture. Gaaaaah.

Tight legs on half moon pose. I’m amazed at the difference. I really used to dread this pose, particularly the right and left bend. Much more manageable now.

After class, Lisa asked me if I was breathing through my throat (instead of my throat) on my savasanas. My immediate answer was no, because I was taking long breaths and my mouth was closed. But she thought that I might be breathing through my throat. Afterward in the locker room I took a few deep breaths and surprise, I was breathing through my throat. That explains why I would make such a loud hissing sound. I honestly had no idea; usually after doing the standing and spine strengthening poses I’m desperate to take a gasp of air. Since we’re supposed to keep our mouths closed, the throat was apparently my way to compensate.

Breathing issues aside, tonight was an unexpectedly good class. Balancing stick in particular felt much more balanced and my extended leg felt much lighter. Balancing stick is normally my best balancing posture in the standing series, but for the last few days my extended leg has felt a little heavy. Not tonight. This may have been because out of the corner of my eye I noticed a couple of ladies watching us from outside.

Although I like the room really hot during class, I’ve noticed that the heat actually drains me if I arrive too early and spend, say, 40 minutes stretching beforehand. So I’ve relegated the majority of my stretching to home and, with the weather being a little nicer, the local exercise area.

Day 11.
The new breathing (all nose, no throat) was a little bit of an adjustment, but it made a huge amount of difference. Throughout the class I was not nearly as tired as I usually am. I didn’t sit out anything, and I actually didn’t want to sit out anything. Before this, I used to breathe and breathe on savasana and still be tired with my heart racing. Now I know why.

Tight legs, not only on half moon, but also sit ups. What a difference; no longer feeling like I'm carrying all 100-plus kilos of myself.

Final breathing: First time I didn’t collapse headfirst onto the mat. I wanted to pump my fists in the air. Can you pump your fists in a Bikram class?

Day 12.
Not quite as strong as last night, but still a very good class. Half moon is the make-or-break pose for me. How well I get through this determines the rest of the class for me. Slightly more strained, but kept my legs tight and survived it.

Holy cow. Three people walked out of the class tonight, one of them within the first 20 minutes.

Overall, quite hot tonight but not very tiring. It felt great not to walk out of the room exhausted.The most significant thing is that I didn’t dread any poses. At this point, the only pose I seem unable to perform is toe stand. I usually substitute tree pose. Toe stand may take some time, and I’m not in a rush to make it happen; I think it will come in its own time.

Day 13.
Jessica led the class tonight and it felt like a marathon. Jessica may have become my new favorite instructor.

Day 14.
The gym was closed today for maintenance and I really, really enjoyed the day off. After church I went to Olympic Park, one of my favorite hangouts. Later Heesung and I ate dinner at Outback and took a nice walk around the park. As we sat outside and looked at the night sky, I was genuinely glad not to be in the hot room. I’m torn between enjoying the 30-day challenge and wanting to have more time to myself.

I generally don’t exercise for the purpose of losing weight. However, since starting this challenge a few friends have told me that I look different. Although I never deliberately diet, my eating habits have changed somewhat; I don’t eat as much as I normally do because it just doesn’t seem necessary. My cravings for junk food and fried stuff haven’t completely disappeared, but they seem to have dimished significantly. While obviously I care about maintaining my health, exercising for the sake of enjoyment is more very important to me. Last year while cycling with a friend at the Han River, I made a passing comment about how overweight I was. She warned me not to fall into the trap of holding myself to Korean standards of body shape, and I’ve never forgotten her advice. I find that obsessing over my weight or my body shape leads to stress and exercising loses its enjoyment; it becomes work. While I do draw inspiration from certain people with regard to body shape, endurance and flexibility, I try to avoid comparing myself too much with others. I’ve been a big, heavy guy for most of my life and I’m actually okay with that. I’m also not a 20-something dude. I like to push my limits, but I also have to be realistic.

Day 15.
I felt a little thrown off after missing a day. The class was so-so for me, although I don’t blame Suah, who was excellent. Suah gave use a very helpful tip with balancing stick; look at your knee if the mirror. Although balancing stick tends to be my best balancing pose, I always look straight ahead at my face in the mirror; for some reason I feel like I’ll fall over if I look down. However, lately my extended leg has felt heavier than usual, and looking at my knee in the mirror (combined with extending my upper body more, something I’ve previously avoided because of my height) seems to have stabilized that pose for me.

I wasn’t overwhelmingly tired tonight, although the last 20 minutes I got really dizzy and seemed to lose track of exactly which posture and which set we were on. I just felt a little bit blah. After leaving the gym I went to the convenience and reached for a Blue bolt Gatorade. When I went to the counter to pay, I looked down and realized I was holding a Nestea. Later that night, I did some stretching at home for the first time in a few days. (I haven't felt like doing any stretching lately.) My body reminded me constantly of the fact that I hadn't done this in a while, and it made me feel like an old man.

Day 16.
Tonight’s class was a surprise. I wasn’t very tired. This was unexpected because I was tired all day. I went into class thinking to myself, “I’ll just go light tonight.” But I actually didn’t need to go so light. Half moon didn’t feel very tiring, and I didn’t have to tighten my legs quite as much as I have been the last few days. Of course I went into half moon very slowly as I always do, but my body just seemed to bend sideways without the usual amount of discomfort. I still substituted toe stand with tree pose, but even that wasn’t very tiring. Normally I’m very tired by the time we get to toe stand, and it’s very hard for me not to sit that pose out. Tonight that was not an issue. Also I got through both sets of camel pose without the usual drama. By the end of class my water bottle was only half empty.

The only genuinely difficult pose tonight was fixed firm. When the second set went a few seconds longer than usual, I was ready to scream. Fixed firm has become a very unpredictable posture for me as of late. Some days it’s been relatively easy, and other days I just want to groan as I go down. It just seems so random, and it doesn’t seem to depend on whether or not I’m having a good day or a good class. Fortunately I’ve gotten to a point where I never sit it out and I always cross my arms above my head, although depending on the day I may be breathing my way a lot more heavily through it.

At home, stretching felt a little better than last night. I think consistency is the thing. I’m going to have to do a double soon, and possibly this weekend by the latest. I feel like it might not be so much fun if I put it off until the very end.